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Decluttering the home of elderly parents has been likened to operating a family business. With no formal structure, emotions can run high!
© Danielle Robertson Consulting Pty Ltd t/as DR Care Solutions
International decluttering guru, Peter Walsh[1], recommends a deliberate, well-organised, professional approach to decluttering the home of elderly parents to avoid hurt feelings, resentment, conflict in the wider family and cries such as:
"How could you have thrown that away?"
"Just because you were here cleaning up does not mean you can put your name on it."
"It’s not fair that you take the second car and I’m left with the crockery and glassware."
"That’s not the wish expressed in their Will."
To help with the process, along with our Spring Clean Rightsize Guide, we have also created comprehensive Excel Spreadsheet templates providing:
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A Decluttering Project Schedule which divides up the enormous task of decluttering into manageable bite-sized tasks – with a proposed timeline and rewards for completing each task.
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An Inventory to itemise what is to be kept, sold, given away, replaced, or thrown out. The inventory allows you to note down the details of recipients of gifted items.
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A listing of possible Subprojects Planner such as creating a Life RegisterTM[2]&[3] in which you list the important documents (e.g. Will, Enduring Power of Attorney, house deeds) and their whereabouts (e.g. the family’s solicitor’s office).
The templates can be personalised to your living space and needs. We see them as an excellent tool in avoiding family disagreements and keeping the decluttering process operating like a business - deliberate, well organised and professional.
Other tips to follow
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Decide as a family on who is to be involved in the decluttering exercise. Where a large family is involved, the advice is to only involve blood relatives and avoid the involvement of sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law.
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Hold an initial meeting of the appointed family stakeholders and at the meeting agree on the overall goal, who is going to be involved and when, how items will categorised, and hear any concerns at the outset. Use our Guide and Templates as your project management tools to structure the meeting and process.
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Continue to hold family stakeholder meetings as you complete the templates. Transparency and ongoing communication being key to avoiding disagreement and conflict. Consider using a collaborative online document editor like Google Docs to share your project management tools (the templates) as they are being completed.
Make sure you host a stakeholder meeting when the Inventory template - on what is to be kept, sold, gifted, given away, replaced, or thrown out - is completed. Seek everyone’s agreement on the completed Inventory template.
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If conflict amongst family members arises during the process, resolve the conflict as early as possible. If you did not get your way with a particular decision, consider accepting a compromise or understand that this process requires many people to “just let go”.
At all stages, ensure your elderly parent takes the lead in the decision-making or, if unable to do so, is kept well-informed and maintains decision-making power. Check that their wishes in gifting items is consistent with the wishes they have expressed in their Will.
Spring cleaning and rightsizing!
Our Spring Clean Rightsize Templates[4] accompany our recently released Spring Clean Rightsize Guide[3] – a free downloadable guide helping you ‘rightsize’ your living space for your stage of life. Take advantage of these free resources to organise your decluttering project!
Download one or both using the forms below.
Decluttering, Rightsizing, Downsizing Resources
DR Care Solutions and SPACE Property Advocates collaborated to create:
The Spring Clean Rightsize Guide
&
The Spring Clean Rightsize Templates
We are pleased to offer these resources to you as a free downloadable.
Simply fill out the form(s) below and we'll send you an email with access.
Need help caring for a loved one? Please feel free to call me, Danielle Robertson, at any time for an initial discussion on how to set up the right care, support and assistance at the right time and in the right place.
Resources
[1] Peter Walsh, "Let it Go", Penguin Books, 2020, p 204
[2] DR Care Solutions: Helping You Take Action To Prepare For End of Life
[3] DR Care Solutions: Life Ready RegisterTM
[4] DR Care Solutions & SPACE. Property Advocates: Spring Clean Rightsize Templates
[5] DR Care Solutions & SPACE. Property Advocates: Spring Clean Rightsize Guide
